Internet Dating - The Wise Way
The day has come when internet dating is considered a legitimate way of meeting new people in the endless search for the right person. Chat rooms have replaced bar rooms, and internet dating sites and personal ads no longer have the "stigma" that they once did. You may still get a raised eyebrow when telling people you are using the internet for your search for the perfect date, but no- where close to the reaction you would have received years ago. Internet dating has gained popularity by leaps and bounds, and unfortunately, so have the dangers and horror stories some have encountered.
The anonymity of internet dating has afforded con artists a new playground for scams, and has allowed people to be anyone they think you want them to be, because they are engaging you primarily through the written word. This article is not meant to bring forth the message that it’s impossible to find love through internet dating, but to inform people of the dangers that are out there. Internet dating is still a relatively new way of people connecting with people from all over the globe, and people need to understand the dangers out there so they can make their search a safe one.
Internet dating has been portrayed mostly with "success stories", because many of those who have had bad experiences are too embarrassed to talk about them openly, thinking they are the rarity, or the "unlucky one". Cinema and T.V. have also focused on the lighter side of internet dating and dating websites as opposed to the darker side. What's tricky here is people WANT to believe they are going to find what they are looking for (nothing wrong with that) and DON'T want to believe someone may be lying to them or playing games. They think they are "too smart" to fall for a con merchant and it is that attitude that leaves them wide open to be proven wrong. If you are planning to surf the internet with high hopes and expectations, arm yourself with the knowledge of what to avoid and what to watch out for, so you have the best possible chance of a positive outcome.
Unfortunately there are many hidden dangers in the world of internet dating, and it's up to you to recognize the signs and red flags so that your experience stands the best chance of success, rather than leaving a bad taste in your mouth.
The internet dating "scene" is one of the easiest places for someone to cheat on their spouse or significant other, or to use the internet dating area as a place for promiscuity. The danger of long-distance internet romance is it is extremely easy for someone already involved with a partner to go out and cheat in a relatively safe (for them) environment. Get a secret email address, create a persona, and have a mobile phone and, if necessary a P.O. box number and you’re all set!!! It is important to realise the internet dating scene can be dangerous to those who don't take it seriously, and for those too trusting in nature.
The numerous horror stories of bad internet experiences can range from the humorous, to the deadly. If you have decided that you really want to try internet dating, remember to take it seriously, and play it safe.
Here is a true story
"I was fooling around on the internet sending emails back and forth to some friends of mine. One friend kept pressuring me to try internet dating since my dating life seemed to be going nowhere fast. She sent me an internet dating website and we started going through the profiles, and she helped me to make a profile of my own. This was how I met Matt, who lived in another county, but said he put an ad in my area his job was re-locating him this year. This sounded reasonable at the time, but now, looking back on it, this was red flag number 1. We exchanged emails with more and more frequency, and seemed to have a lot in common. He asked for my phone number and I asked for his instead. He said that since he was moving he had disconnected his home phone number and only used his mobile in preparation for his move. Again, this sounded like no problem, but should have been red flag number 2! We chatted on the phone, and he seemed anxious to meet, and said he would be in my area because he would be house hunting in a few months. So, we kept talking on the phone, and I began to notice he didn't answer my calls - mainly during evenings and weekends. He said it was a work phone and he had to limit his evening and weekend calls. Once again, this guy had an excuse for everything, and I should have seen this as red flag number 3! I went back on the internet dating site, and saw his profile was still active, even though we spoke everyday and planned to meet next month! (This red flag I did pay more attention to.) I decided just to browse, just to see if he was on any other sites and guess what? He was! He was in several different areas, with several different names but the one thing he did was to keep the same photo. So, I set up a fake profile on the internet dating site to try and find out what he was up to. I wrote to him pretending to be a woman from another area, far away from where I lived. We wrote back and forth and I got an email from him saying how he was going to be moving to THAT area in a few months, and was going to be in THAT area because THAT was where he was moving! I was fuming, I realized this was all a bunch of lies, this man was never moving to my town or any other, he was just using this internet dating site as a way to make false promises to women looking for something long term”.
The internet is a convenient tool for making new friends. Just like anywhere else, there are risks of which you should be aware. The following are a few guidelines and suggestions to help keep your experience as positive as possible.
Protect your privacy
Do not reveal information which could expose your identity until you are confident that it is safe. Be cautious revealing your name, address, phone number, email address, place of work, website address, etc. Do not allow anyone to pressure you into revealing details before you are ready. If they are overly aggressive in asking for indentifying information, cut off communication.
Be careful meeting people
The first time you meet someone in person, take a friend along or meet and stay in public places. Be sure that someone knows where you're going and when to expect you back. Take your mobile phone along and have a friend call periodically.
Trust your feelings and intuition
If you feel uneasy about someone you've met online, err on the side of caution. It's probably better to miss a few good experiences than to have one bad one.
Beware of scams
Occasionally; criminals will use dating sites - where messages can be received with a high level of trust, to solicit people for scams. If, for example, you ever receive a message asking for help getting large sums of money out of an African country, offering to sell a product, or with any other commercial purpose, do not respond to the message.
Remember that ultimately, you are responsible for your own safety.
